The Journey of Leaving Your Baby to Go Back to Work
So my Facebook timeline has been full of posts about ladies leaving their babies and heading back to work. Although it’s been a while since I had to do that with my little princess, I vividly remember those days and felt like it would be a great topic to discuss. Not solely off the fact that I remember, but because she’s old enough for me to tell the other side of the story now.
Decisions Decisions
We began our search kind of early because I had heard all the horror stories about how hard it was to find a sitter for an infant. In addition to this all our family and friends live at least 30 minutes away and so did their recommendations. I didn’t want my baby to be another number in a center. He wanted a provider who was “like family” so she’d be in a similar environment as home and WE wanted whoever we chose to be close to home reasonably priced. We interviewed with about 15 providers (not exaggerating…I waddled my way up to every single house lol). In our area a lot of sitters won’t reveal their price unless you go for a visit. Price alone ruled out about two thirds of the candidates. Then language barriers and location ruled out the majority of the others. We finally ended up going with hubby’s favorite.
Nope…You Can’t Make Me
Anyone that knows me, knows I’m the complete opposite of a home body but something changed almost immediately after I had my baby girl. I not only wanted to stay in the house, but I begged my husband to become a stay at home mom. I wanted to stay in the house and bare witness to every milestone and every change she made. Once my husband snapped me back into reality we started taking her to the provider that we selected.
Leading up to dooms day
I decided to do a couple trial drop ins, drop offs and finally a half day trial week. I was miserable, I’d drive around the area trying to make the time fly by faster. I randomly popped up a few times because I missed her so much. The provider affectionately labeled me “The Stalker Mom”. No shame in my game though, that’s my baby and it’s my right to play pop up. I extended my maternity leave by another two weeks, but I finally had to bite the bullet and go back to work.
Being a Mom is never Easy:
The night before her first full day, I was up all night packing and re packing her baby bag. I was a nervous and anxious mess. I finally dropped her off Monday morning with hubby and my son by my side. I couldn’t even put the car seat down before the tears began to fall. Her provider insured me she’d be ok and told me to feel free to text or call if I had any concerns. I went to work and was pretty much ok but did manage to slide out 30 minutes early to get my baby. Day one was a success (by my standards at least). Day two I went solo to drop her off and managed not to cry this time. I got to work, checked my email and about an hour later proceeded to cry uncontrollably for like four hours. I wasn’t crying because I didn’t trust the provider or regretted our decision, I was crying because it hit me that this was now my life. I was paying someone to do what I so desperately wanted to be doing (taking care of my baby). After talking to my mom, sister and hubby, I was able to come to peace with the fact that although it wasn’t what I wanted to do, it was what I needed to do. My family depends on me to hold up my half of things, so I had to suck it up and do what was needed. Plus my provider is super sweet and sends me pictures periodically, so I can get my fix throughout the day 😁😁😁
Present Day:
Hubby and I have a agreement that he drops her off in the mornings and I pick her up. It works well for me because she’s sleep when I leave out (usually) and so excited to see me in the evenings. I lay out her outfits before I head out, so I’m always excited to see how she looks in them. I honestly know we made the best decision. Although she’s usually ready to go once I arrive, she always stops and gives her provider a hug before we head out. I’ve had the privilege of dropping her off a few times and she literally chants the providers name the whole time I’m driving. It’s an amazing feeling to see the joy in her face as she knocks on the door and runs inside. She has learned so much already and she’s not even two yet. She sings her alphabet, says her days of the week, her colors and has the best manners. In addition to that she’s made friends that we play with outside of daycare. Now I’m dreading the days when my baby has to leave daycare and go to school. So I say all this to say, although it’s heartbreaking initially, it does get better and if you are as fortunate as we are you will find someone or somewhere that you and your little one both love!!!!
