When I met my husband I had a strict no men with kids rule. I wasn’t interested in the pressure of being a mother figure or the baby mama drama. On our first date he started talking about his son and his face immediately lit up with pride and joy. It was at that moment that I decided that dating a man with a child wouldn’t be pressure, it would be a privilege. Fast forward 11 years later and I thank God everyday for the blessing that is OUR son and for giving me the wisdom not to walk away from the man that he made for me.
Our kids are 10 years and 10 days apart. Our daughter was actually due on our son’s birthday. She decided to be stubborn and wait 10 days, so her brother wouldn’t have to share his birthday. They are the best of friends now and love each other so much. He’s her role model and she wants to do everything he does. He adores her and spoils her more than we do. We knew it was scary for him because he was used to being our only child for so long, so we made sure to keep things equal from the start:
- We redid his room and got him new furniture after we did the nursery
- He got a family photo shoot after our maternity pics
- He had a huge birthday party despite the fact that I was due that day
It’s hard for us raising two children who are a decade apart. He’s managing his hormones and finding his identity and she’s testing her boundaries and learning her capabilities. It doesn’t help that they are BOTH spoiled brats (I blame hubby). He wants every $100 plus gadget and game. She wants any and every toy she sees. Their birthdays are just around the corner so it’s a balancing act of quality and quantity. She’ll definitely get more but his gifts DEFINITELY costs us more.
Although the gap is a struggle, the gender bias is the biggest problem. Hubby was so strict with our son growing up and I’d always jump in to save the day. Now it’s the complete opposite, I’m always yelling and threatening to pop his princess and he’s not having it. I know that I’m a lot harder on our son now, because I feel like he’s at an age of real consequences but hubby says I don’t understand the mind of an adolescent teen boy and I need to relax. I can’t wait to see how he handles it when his perfect princess is moody from her period and dealing with her first real crush (I may have to record those battles😂😂😂).
It is literally a daily learning experience with the two of them and most of the time we just wing it as we go. The important thing is that we love them and continue to nurture them through their milestones. They’ll make mistakes along the way and so will we. We are all learning and experiencing the world, just at different stages. I honestly don’t remember what it felt like to be almost two or almost twelve but I’ve made it this far. Hubby and I will use our life lessons to instill good moral values in them, teach them responsibility and be there for them through the inevitable tough times. They are 10 years and 10 days apart but have a lifetime together.
